Wednesday 6 October 2010

Weird Child.

Little brother and sister each had a friend over to dinner today.  Had spaghetti, then trifle.

Sister's friend picked at the trifle (claimed she'd never seen or heard of it before - the poor deprived little mite!), and eventually decided she didn't really like it all that much.  After eating most of it anyway as part of the decision-making process, that is.

But then someone passed her what was left of the sugar-snap peas (ick), and she happily ate the whole lot.

So, she likes sugar-snap peas better than trifle.  This is bizarre and upsetting, but still sort of understandable - after all, some people don't like damp sponge cake, and others don't like cold custard.

But then, just as I was digesting this piece of weirdness, Mum tells me something even stranger: namely, that one of little sister's other friends likes cucumber better than chocolate.

This I am not sure I can handle.

I have a very definite view on the raison d'etre of cucumbers: they exist for the sole purpose of adding crunch to tuna sandwiches, which are otherwise a bit squishy and dull.  Outside of a tuna sandwich, a cucumber is a strange and meaningless thing.  Cucumbers are never, ever, under any circumstances an alternative to chocolate, and it is morally wrong to think otherwise.

I'm not sure I can handle much more of this...

- The Colclough


  1. Have those kids been brainwashed! Well, at least they won't get fat! Although, my friend once decided to try lettuce in a chocolate fondue. Funnily enough, I don't want to try that but I do want to try fishfingers and custard...

    btw, I very much liked your short film. I was going to comment on your other blog but it wouldn't let me for some reason... hmm.


  2. brainwashing is definitely a possible explanation.

    re: lettuce with chocolate, if the Doctor ate it then it would be cool - like fish custard - but he doesn't, so it isn't 8p

    glad you liked the film :) i'm currently working on a couple of episode scripts for a short TV series based off the same idea and characters. that's my idea of fun - writing about blokes in cardboard armour having a really bad time... yeah, i'm weird like that...