Thursday 18 August 2011

Sparkly or Undead?

A bit like Question 15: "Sheep or cows?", but odder and more fictional... and maybe trickier - Question 16: "Zombies or unicorns?"

Wow.  What a choice to have to make.  Sparkly white horses with magical horns on their foreheads versus the creeping, oozing, rotting, brainsss-coveting undead.

Sorry to keep doing this, but once again I must resort to summarising various points for and against in the tried and trusted bulleted-list format:
  • It would probably be more manly to say Zombies.  Just because they don't sparkle.  If I'd asked Hannah the same question, she wouldn't have this problem.  But then again, how much do I care?
  • Unicorns probably won't eat you.  Definitely a point to Team Sparkly.
  • You might be able to use a unicorn as a lawnmower.  Zombies probably not.
  • It's usually a given that zombies want your guts, but is the unicorn also out to get you?  If so, then I'd vote Zombie, because it's much easier to outrun a shuffling corpse than a galloping equid.
  • But the flipside to that is that if I had to pick one or other as a mode of transport, then I'd have to vote Unicorn for exactly the same reason.
  • If I was going to have a conversation with one or other, I'd talk to the unicorn.  Because they're supposed to be able to speak (I'm told), or at least understand speech, while the undead would rather kill you than listen to you.
  • At the other extreme, if I had to eat one or other, I'd eat the unicorn.  It'd taste millions better - assuming some sort of unicorn protection magic didn't kill you as soon as you stuck your fork in - and zombies almost certainly carry multi-resistant salmonella or something.
  • Both critters are equally damaging to metaphysics.
  • If I had a girlfriend to worry about, then I suspect she'd want me to say Unicorn - "My boyfriend's got a unicorn!" sounds a bit less repulsive than "My boyfriend's got a pet zombie!"  But I don't, so that doesn't count.
Net result: on balance, probably unicorns.

Them statistics:
  • Twenty Questions status: 18 down, 2 to go (so close now...)
  • Days until Root Hill: 2
  • Latest book read: Jennings Follows a Clue
  • Latest film/TV watched: Red Dwarf 1.6
  • Latest music listened to: How to Train Your Dragon OST by John Powell
  • Latest edible item eaten: croissants and cowjuice
  • Predominant colour of clothes: back to blue
  • Programs and web pages currently running: Microsoft Office Outlook 2007, Firefox (tabs: MatNav 6.1; Blogspot Create Post)
  • Webcomics posted today: Cylinder and Miserable #1339

- The Colclough


  1. Well, according to Howard Overman (of Merlin fame), yes, you would die sooner or later from eating a unicorn. That said, zombies carry TB. Probably...

  2. What about zombie unicorns? eh? eh? .... :)